Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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