That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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