ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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