What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
