Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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