I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
