The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
