white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
