i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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