just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize