I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
