this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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