That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
