sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
