My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
