if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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