what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
