Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize