i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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