I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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