I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
should my penis look like a turkey
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
