Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
