I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
