these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
