watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
there is puke in my bra ... again
dude. I can hear the air.
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