Already got asked if we're dating
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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