I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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