this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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