there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
