Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
