shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
