So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize