I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
