After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So many bounce houses so little time
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
