haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
