I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
