i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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