I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
