I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
