last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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