when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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