i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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