my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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