i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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