All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
