That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
