please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
