So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
