So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
