i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
