his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
