last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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