My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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