I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
