Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
