butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
