I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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