I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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